


Journey to Crime

by unwillingadventurer



Category: Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 21:42:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14923350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwillingadventurer/pseuds/unwillingadventurer
Summary: Raffles and Bunny are heading home on the train after a short break and Raffles has crime in mind.





	Journey to Crime

Sweat poured down my forehead as I clung on to the rail for dear life; the train was careering around a sharp bend and I was not, as one would expect, in the safety and comfort of the inside of the first- class train compartment but instead clinging to the outside, envisaging my imminent premature death as I stared at the ground below me. My oldest friend, Raffles, was by my side, clutching my arm with one of his hands. 

“We’ll have to jump, Bunny,” he yelled over the sound of the engine.

I shook my head in fear. “I can’t.”

A puff of disgusting smoke and steam passed over us, causing me to almost collapse in a fit of coughs. I looked down at the ground again, it was a blur as we whizzed past. I honestly believed at that moment that it was the end.

“Time to jump, old chap.” They were Raffles’ next words. I hoped not the last.

He was right, there was no other choice as I saw the tunnel approaching up ahead. This was it, the only chance we had. I took a deep breath, glanced at Raffles and jumped…

…

You may wonder how Raffles and I came to be jumping off a fast-moving train in the early evening, and so I shall tell you of how we first came to be aboard. We were travelling back from a short trip to Scotland, one that saw us meet up with a few of Raffles’ old friends and we spent the previous evening at a grand ball that was hosted by a fellow cricketer from the MCC who had a second residence in Edinburgh. One assumed we were simply heading home afterwards, but Raffles being the crafty cracksman that he was had other ideas- nothing was ever as it appeared and he had crime in mind. 

We started off quite well on that next day, in our own compartment, laughing away, not a care in the world. We’d entered into a conversation about the other first-class passengers we’d spied on the train and we’d giggled like schoolboys over the height of Lady Chester’s hat and the absurdity of one chap’s unruly mutton chops. 

We were having quite the time of it until Raffles uttered the line: “You know, Bunny, did you see Lady Chester’s diamond necklace?”

I frowned. The conversation- no matter if it began with discussions on gardening, photography or literature- would always seem to end up back at burglary. 

“I did happen to glance at it last night at the ball.” I paused and looked at him. “Funny we happen to on the same train home as the lady though.”

“Pure coincidence,” Raffles said, lighting his Sullivan with an air of ambiguity. He was also avoiding my eye contact.

“Its pure coincidence is it that you were insistent on catching this particular train the evening after the ball when it could have been this morning?”

“Merely a matter of chance my dear Rabbit. We stayed a few extra hours to say goodbye to old Scotland.”

“So you keep telling me.” I lifted my newspaper over my face so I could no longer see him but he pulled it back down and smiled broadly.

“Oh Bunny, doesn’t the song of the sea siren call to you? Doesn’t the roaring alarm hold your attention? Doesn’t the dangerous allure of Medusa cause you to widen your eyes where they should stay closed? Are we not in a prime position? A diamond necklace under our noses and well within my grasp! To refuse it would be to deny our duty to our profession.”

“Oh, it’s my profession now is it?” I raised the newspaper again and once again he pulled it down and tossed it onto the floor.

I sighed. There was no arguing with him. “But she’s on the other side of the train, everyone will see us.”

He slapped my knee. “Ah, but that’s the challenge, my boy.”

“And what happens when we steal it? We have nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide and everyone on this wretched train will likely know you’re A.J Raffles the famous cricketer.”

“Ah not quite.”

“Eh?”

“I’ll tell everyone my name is J.A Flanders and you my dear fellow are my brother Elliot.”

“And you weren’t going to tell me any of this?”

“No need to bring it up before the right moment. As I always say the nervous players must be allowed to go straight in.”

“But we walked past everyone already, they’ll have seen us.”

“Exactly why I gave you that paper to read. No one has seen our faces, and wishing to remain anonymous I’ve bought these…”

Raffles pulled out a bag which held in it various pieces of facial hair and an array of wigs. “Which would you like? Or which…should I say…would Elliot like?”

I reluctantly seized a false moustache that matched my fair hair and Raffles opted for the full beard. He also handed me a pair of small round spectacles that aged me considerably and he placed a monocle lens over one eye. 

I coughed. “How do I look?”

“Quite respectable, my dear Bunny, or should I say Elliot! No one shall suspect you of any wrong doing.”

I grumbled as my fake moustache tickled the skin above my lip and I worried it wouldn’t stay attached. “Oh A.J…I mean J.A!” I looked at my old friend and sighed. He had placed the beard on and he was wholly unrecognisable with the furry face to which his handsome features were completely lost. “Oh A.J, I can’t stand that beard on you, it’s ghastly.”

Raffles laughed. “You don’t have to like it Bunny, you’re posing as my brother not judging a beauty contest.”

“Well good because you’d never win with that unruly fluff all over your chin.”

Raffles’ eyes remained fixed on me and in them I saw impatience. “Have you quite finished?”

I looked down at my shoes, ashamed as though I had been told off. “Quite sorry.”

“Now, we will need to go and meet a few people.”

“Must we?”

“Bunny, it’s all part of the game, the performance, the show. J.A and Elliot are going to be quite the hit.”

“Until they rob poor Lady Chester of her necklace!”

“Yes, quite.”

Sometimes I wondered whether Raffles really desired the diamond necklace at all or just wanted a chance for me to humiliate myself. I was not a good actor, Raffles had told me this on more than one occasion. So why did he expect me to parade myself around like this pretending to be someone else?

We met our fellow passengers in the other compartments and Raffles insisted we introduce ourselves to everyone in first-class. It was a mortifying affair, pretending to be pleasant with the lady we were about to burgle, not that it was a new experience but I never felt it got any easier. The lady was quite taken with old ‘J.A’. Apparently, she was fond of bearded men and compared him to the beauty of the Neanderthal man. I, as usual in my dealings with Raffles was not fawned upon, in fact barely noticed, and on this occasion, it brought relief to me for what I feared most was that I would be recognised under my disguise, especially considering that Raffles and I had met Lady Chester the previous evening when we had been in attendance at the ball. One could only hope the lady was terribly short-sighted. 

Finally, someone did choose to talk to me first, a rather pleasant young lady named Alice. 

“You’re brothers I hear?” she said, “Though your nothing alike.”

“Very true.” 

She leaned in close to me so that I could smell her fragrant perfume. “He’s so very outgoing whereas you seem to be confined to the corner. I know how you feel Mr. Flanders. I too have very confident relatives!”

I was very relieved to have met such a lady when I was feeling at my most anxious and for a few minutes she took my thoughts away from Raffles. “A.J…I mean… J.A… he’s all for the show.”

She nodded and we had rather an agreeable conversation, venturing into an intelligent discussion on literature. I was almost disappointed when Raffles tugged at my sleeve, pulling me away to the privacy of our own compartment once more. 

We were not in the cubicle but five minutes when Raffles uttered: “I’m relying on you to create a diversion, Bunny.”

His face was close to mine, our noses almost touching and I could feel the excitement almost flowing out from his body. I on the other hand was suffering with sweaty palms and dry lips. “A diversion?” I could feel my face reddening as I thought about the humiliation. “Oh, but I’m not any good at those. I never know what to do.”

“It will not be for long, Bunny. I observed Lady Chester remove the necklace for a moment to show her son-in-law. I’m quite convinced that wily devil will steal the thing from her himself if we don’t get there first. He was hovering over like some sort of vulture. Anyway, she took the necklace off alone, Bunny, none of those hard clasps to fasten the damn thing. I’m sure I could stand behind her and remove it without anyone noticing, that is if you cause a commotion.”

I gulped. “Must I?”

“Oh, don’t panic, Bunny. I have every faith in your abilities. You are my dear Rabbit, and I tell you there is nothing to fear.”

I smiled. His trust in me was enough to convince me to go along with the charade, but the sensation in my body told me otherwise. My legs started to weaken and before I had the chance to really think, we were back with the others, laughing and joking over glasses of wine. I caught Raffles’ deep blue eyes glance knowingly at me and that was my signal- I knew it was time for my performance. I froze in that moment, I had no idea what to do.

“Oh dear,” I finally said, loudly so everyone could hear, “I do believe I’m unwell.” I began to tremble on the spot. Then I clutched my head and moaned so that everyone turned to look at me. I then forced myself to tumble to my knees, remembering to knock a few things onto the floor on my way down. It was quite the performance even from the nervous amateur. Alice was the first by my side and indeed it caused quite a diversion. Everyone was peering down at me with concern. As I groaned and wailed, letting Alice hold onto my hand, I kept one eye always on Raffles and I watched him complete the task, take off the lady’s necklace with his skilful hands and then saw him slip it into his pocket. 

“My dear brother!” he said loudly to the entire carriage as he crouched beside me and clutched my other hand. “He has a congenital heart condition,” he told everyone. “Elliot has always been a fragile thing, we never expected him to survive childhood, yet here he is, still proving us wrong. He has these turns. He’ll be fine in a minute when I get him to a smaller little nook to have a rest. Crowds do bother him so, don’t they Elliot?”

I nodded in agreement as he helped me to my feet. “Uh…yes…too many crowds…”

I had to hand it to Raffles, it was an ingenious plan and the audacity of it made me quite excited. To steal the necklace right from under the lady’s nose literally was more than risky and yet we’d pulled it off- well he certainly had!

We were trembling with excitement when we reached our own compartment and Raffles shut the door for our much-needed privacy. “I say Bunny, that was a performance worthy of a night at ‘The Gaiety.’ 

I smiled. “You really think so, A.J?”

“Your acting abilities are showing promise, my dear chap.”

“You really are telling the truth?”

I was looking into his eyes and he was looking into mine and for a moment I do not think either of us spoke. 

“I’m telling the utmost truth.” He let out a wide smile. “I told you I had faith in you, Bunny.”

“But what about the necklace?”

He held it up to show me it in its glorious splendour and I was in awe at how the diamond caught the light. “Now, all we do is simply get off the train at the next stop.”

“But then they’ll know it’s us who’s pinched it for sure.”

“They’ll know it’s the brothers Flanders, yes.” He rubbed his beard and then ruffled his hair with his hand. “Be ready to leave.”

I was about to reply when we heard a raucous from a few compartments away and that was followed by the sound of what can only be described as hysterics. 

“I don’t like the sound of that,” I admitted.

“No, Bunny, neither do I.”

“She’s noticed its gone, she must have!”

Raffles paced the length of the compartment, his hand rubbing his chin in thought. “I hoped we’d have more time.” Raffles as usual had been grossly over-confident.

“It was right around her neck, A.J, it’s easy to notice that!”

He grabbed my arm and hushed me. “Come on, we need to make a quick exit.”

“But the next stop isn’t for several miles.”

“I wasn’t planning on waiting for a station, Bunny.”

There was a sudden sound of voices and footsteps coming in our direction and I held onto Raffles tightly, my fingers digging into his arm.

“Raffles!”

Raffles placed his finger on my lip. “It’s alright, Bunny.”

“They know it’s us, Raffles!”

He hushed me again and indicated that I follow him quietly out of the compartment door and down a narrow corridor until we reached the outer door to make our escape. Unfortunately, as I followed Raffles down the thin route, we heard voices shouting from behind us. 

“Flanders! You there!”

It sounded like the voice of Lady Chester’s son-in-law and his tone was aggressive and unpleasant not to mention determined. 

We ignored the cries of ‘thief’ and ‘burglar’ and made our way to the door, flinging it open and watching as the landscape outside whizzed past in the early evening light. Raffles climbed out first, carefully and casually as though it meant nothing to him, and then I reluctantly followed, closing the door behind me and shuffling along the narrow ledge and holding onto the rail above us with all the strength I could muster. The wheels below were terrifying and the sound was deafening, but in that moment of danger, I saw Raffles smile at me and it felt, just for a second, like something wonderful. 

“Come back here! Stop them!”

We heard all sorts of screaming and panic behind us but we ignored it and then…we jumped.

…

I remember falling onto the grassy verge and rolling head-over-heels down the bank. My head and back ached by the time I reached the bottom. As I fell, I could make out the blurred figure of Raffles tumbling beside me.

“Bunny, are you alright?” I heard him say.

I lifted my head and I could see he was right beside me, looking down upon me like an angel descended from the heavens. 

“I think so. I’m pretty sure my limbs are still attached. Haven’t checked yet.”

“I came down with quite a thud myself,” Raffles admitted. “Are you alright to get moving?”

“Where on Earth are we Raffles and where are we going to go?”

He peered around in the approaching darkness. “We’ll have to find a guest house of some sort, ditch our disguises and then catch a train in the other direction.”

“Other direction?”

“Just some of the way north and then when we’re sure no-one’s following, we find a south bound train.”

I understood his logic to some degree but the further our journey took us from the Albany, the worse I felt. I found some comfort however when we reached a small guest house in the nearest town we came to. It had vacant rooms and we ditched our disguises and booked in as two travelling work colleagues who for the first time that day were quite happily clean-shaven! No longer the brothers Flanders, we could sit on our beds and take a breather before we were to catch the train home in several hours’ time.

Raffles poured me a drink. “Here’s to success.”

I laughed. “I’m not toasting anything until I’m safely back at the Albany.”

Raffles sipped his drink. He grimaced. “It’s not really a toast, Bunny, this is water not whiskey. Terrible stuff. And fear not, we’re quite safe.”

…

It was the biggest relief when we finally found ourselves home the next day and were able to resume our natural routine. We had a nice supper that evening and even met the following morning for breakfast and it was all rather splendid. The newspaper arrived as we sat eating toast and marmalade to which my mouthful of toast nearly flew out as I peered at a particular article. 

“Raffles, we’re in the paper!”

He didn’t seem at all startled. “Oh yes, what does it say?” 

“It says that Lady Chester was robbed of her necklace and the thieves got away by jumping off the train. The police are looking for two brothers of coarse appearance.”

Raffles scoffed. “Coarse! I thought our disguises were quite refined and in-keeping with it all.” 

“They had no problem with our appearances when we among them. Now we’re thieves we’re no longer handsome gentlemen.”

“You’re right, Bunny, but its lucky they have no idea who we really are. Scotland Yard will have a task attempting to trace two brothers who jumped ship into the night and got clean away.”

“Well I’m relieved to say the least!”

I began to take a sip of my tea but realised my cup was empty. “Would you like another cup, A.J, I’ll fill up the pot?”

Raffles nodded and I crossed to the adjourning room to fetch more tea. When I returned later, carrying a hot pot, Raffles was wearing his big bushy beard from the scene of our crime. 

“Got any biscuits to go with that?” he said in a raspy voice.

“A.J! I nearly dropped the tea pot!” I said, trying not to laugh at the sight of him in that hideous beard. “Take it off, you look horrible.”

“I think its rather fetching,” he said as he paraded himself in front of the mirror, “would you like a closer look?”

“No, I would not!”

“Come on, Bunny, just a close-up look, it might change your mind.”

He had a glint of mischief in his eye and as I saw him edge closer to me, I ran as fast as I could around the settee. He gave chase and it was easily one of the most terrifying yet exciting things imaginable. I became so intent on fleeing the ‘Neanderthal Raffles’ that I tripped over the rug and fell flat on my face. I whimpered from the floor. 

He laughed. “You’re right, Bunny, this beard does seem to have an adverse effect on people.”

He crouched down beside me and waved my favourite biscuit in front of my nose. I felt instantly better. I’d been injured twice in two days and I would take all the sympathy that Raffles could offer.


End file.
